Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Their Little Clichés: Scene 41

After The Night Out

[Night time. Inside of an SUV. Camera is out of focus. Slowly starts focusing on Him sitting on the passenger side. As it comes into focus, the first focus falls on the window by his side. Droplets of rain. It stopped raining a while ago. Blurred red and blue lights mark the background. Camera focuses on His face. He is looking towards the camera but not at it. Camera cuts from Him to Her at similar angles as they speak.]

(smiling, almost in delight)
Quite an evening!

(trying to concentrate on her driving)
Yes, a bit too much. I don’t like late nights on weekdays.

But this was a one time exception.

I understand, but I am just saying we should not do this too often.

Of course not!

[Camera cuts to view of the road in the front from Her perspective. Starts drizzling again. Windshield wipers come on. Accompanied by sound of wipers but not of rain. Camera cuts back to alternating between them.]

(pauses and looks at him)


You haven’t noticed my dress all evening.

Of course I have noticed it.

No you have not. You have not said anything about it.

I said I noticed it. I don’t have to say something about it to have noticed it.


Come on. You look beautiful and you know that.

You should say it more often.


[Camera pans out to back of SUV on road and keeps moving upwards. SUV keeps driving off into the drizzle. Light music plays. Camera goes out of focus again]


Lorena said...

seriously compliments are wonderful and should be said often, of course they have to be genuine. enjoyed the scene :)

Samudraa said...

Creates a picture image.

simple and sweet(don't like using this word ,but at times...)

says a lot with too few words,doesn't it?!

gulnaz said...

a no-nonsense woman who doesnt like to stay up late on weekdays still needs to be told that she was looking good tonight....hmmm....thet is interesting. i like it for the way it shows in few breif sentences her character and personality.
that he notices her is more important to her than their fun evening is interesting to note too. that he should not tell her straight away, without being asked to, that she is looking nice is strange.

anyway genuine compliments are wonderful, wonderful things, one should not be stingy with them at all.

the camerawork, with the blurred red and blue lights and fading rain adds to the mood of the scene.

thanks for the scene, enjoyed it. :)

musafir said...

Read this. Then went to Scene 42 and re-read it. Realized a backward correlation :)

Are you trying to do what I'm thinking you're trying to do?!

Beautiful - the cliche and the scene! And yes, agree with what the others have to say about compliments.

nin said...

seems i am watching a film....wonderful....

Brood Mode said...

i like the woman!

Brood Mode said...

and yeah been busy, will put up something soon

sneha said...

typically real. :)

Anil said...

I love the way you look at a scene...the camera angles you use..the placement...you would make a good director you know!

Sudarshan said...

Very realistic..you make a good director :)

irina said...

I think a woman should not ask for compliments... It´s kind of embarrassing. Does she feel insecure?
But then a man should have the sensitivity to know when to make a compliment, so as not to cause such conversations.
Yet, the charcters here might be just playing...

Free Spirit said...

I agree that anyone shouldn't ask for compliments, but I do believe what the woman, any woman or being for that matter, asked for, was a confirmation of sorts. An acknowledgement of her existence in his realm.

No, I don't think that's too much to ask at all.

wandering dervish said...

great going!

gen xx said...

The scenes you do are alright. Seinfeld without the comedy. But I don't understand the poetry. Not just yours, but on th e different blogs out there.

THe women have blogs where the poetry is like "A boy looked at me. I wasn't wearing a bra." I at least can see there talking about something their into. I haven't read poetry except on blogs but the rest of it strikes me like mental lint. "I saw a car go by. The light flashed on it. It made spots in front of my eyes." Then everybody goes man, like I had that happen once too... why do people like to read that?

thinkpad said...

i read it n for the first time in the day i went crazy laughing...oh! if not for these women,our half of the population wud be more seriously taken by the other half!...nm my ramblings...it was fun to view the scene spl the SUV..imagine it taking place in a small 2-seater car (then may be i would've sympathised with the woman).

Rahul said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rahul said...

Good script. You will make a good director.

And why is it necessary to say things when they can be understood?

livinghigh said...

;-) should i convert it into a short story?
(dats called plagiarism, i guess!)

Geetanjali said...

I like the fact that she's driving :-) And it struck me too - how she's so sensible and practical, yet expects appreciation for the dress. Quintessential woman eh? (and they call me a feminist!)

>|' ; '| said...

i havent read the previous scenes, sorry. looks like u have an eye for detail.

Itineranting said...

I will put this down to you, A, bein perceptive enough to chalk out what happens in many many equations..else it would be just too uncanny!

finnegan said...

Ha, you've obviously been there in some way or another---it sounds like a pretty familiar vignette to me.

When are you going to start filming?

stan laurel said...

I will be awake all night trying to figure out what they should not have done :) It could be a whole host of things, if not the obvious.

Aradhita said...

Exactly my point! I notice everytime u put up a good post, but unless and until I comment our here, u never understand that I was here and appreciated ur thoughts a lot:)

Bonatellis said...

"I understand, but I am just saying we should not do this too often."

ummmm ... will the husband get to know???

Anne said...

Compliments mean nothing when they are demanded. That he indulges her vanity makes me sad. Does he accept it?

luz de la luna said...

Hey great! I loved the last one of these. I did like the other one better, but I liked the imagery in this one better than the last. If you know what I mean. Does this make sense? I'm sleepy so will blame that :-P

- Martin

irina said...

gen xx, you described so well a certain flaw of blogosphere, lol...
But you see, some things that may sound stupid to you, have a lot of meanings to others... It's all in the subjective context of each of us.
I agree with you that there is a limit.

mermaid said...

The one thing I kept thinking about while reading this was the camera, not the people. When it zooms in, focusing sharply on something, and when it zooms out, the scene is blurred. People do that with each other, don't they? They zoom in on the wrong things, and zoom out when they should be paying attention. I'm not referring to the dress, but rather, what she really means by her annoyance at going out late, or him not noticing her dress. What does she want to zoom in on...what is she trying to say???

yvaine said...

Reminds me of everyday life. :) Lovely scene.

gulnaz said...

pertinent point made my mermaid and finnegan rightly asks, when does the filming start.

transience said...

ah. i love the little snippets of life you see.

jaded said...

yes, u have a way with words...

him and her seem beautifully delicate....beautifully worded scene

Ram said...

very natural scene this one.. as usual with you, effortlessly done !

Tamanna said...

Sounds so post marraige. I swear I must have said that to my new husband often just cos I'm paranoid the romance dies out.

Mint Chutney said...

nice scene.

RS said...

A refreshingly painted scene in the rain :)

finnegan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
finnegan said...

gen xx said ...THe women have blogs where the poetry is like "A boy looked at me. I wasn't wearing a bra." I at least can see there talking about something their into. I haven't read poetry except on blogs but the rest of it strikes me like mental lint. "I saw a car go by. The light flashed on it. It made spots in front of my eyes." Then everybody goes man, like I had that happen once too... why do people like to read that?

Who are "THE WOMEN"??? The only "The Women" I know are the hilarious ones in the 1939 comedy by George Cukor.

Tell you what GenXX. Despite the "XX" in your title, it's clear that you still need to clear an
"adults-only" waiver with your parents before testing out your fledgling critic's wings---spend less time on Pac Man.

But to give you credit, you really deserve an Oscar for the deft portrayal of a turkey.

And next time, before you ruffle your feathers, you need to learn the differences between the personal pronoun "their", the adverbial "there" and the contracted form for "they are".

Again - author said...

Scene's good...
Real good... I hope the entire story makes sense at the end of it.
Though I haven't read the other scenes...

venus said...

u've very well depicted woman psychology! I can also remember of myself doing this att times :0

seriously, are u in to production?

. : A : . said...

Lorena, Samudraa, Avik, sneha, Itineranting, luz de la luna, yvaine, transience, jaded, Ram, Mint Chutney, RS - Thanks. Glad you liked it.

gulnaz - Good observations. You are reading very carefully! :-)

musafir - Yes, I am trying to do what you think I am trying to do!

Brood Mode - Been a long time since I saw a new post from you.

Anil, Sudarshan, Rahul - *bows* I can only try!

irina - They are just playing.

Free Spirit - Yes, it wasn't.

wandering dervish - Thanks! My pleasure.

gen xx - Please refer to finnegan's and irina's comments on yours. :-)

thinkpad - Glad I could bring some laughter to you.

livinghigh - Would be interesting to see. Anyway, I have 'borrowed' the style from wandering dervish.

Geetanjali - Ah yes, the Quintessential woman.

Poison, Again-author - Thanks. You can scroll down the main page and pick up an older scene and all the links to earlier ones written by wandering dervish.

finnegan, gulnaz - I don't know. Maybe when wandering dervish and my scenes 'meet' each other.

stan laurel - Tell me what you thought?

Aradhita - Got the point! ;-)

Bonatellis - You are on a different plane on this one? :-)

Anne - He seems to.

mermaid - Very intersting observations and rightly so.

Tamanna - Tried accessing your blog through your profile but there was no link. Do drop one if you see this. Thanks for your comment and perspective.

venus - In a way, you can say that I am. Thanks for dropping by.

gulnaz said...

of course i am reading carefully :)

. : A : . said...

gulnaz - :-)


I love the way you wrote it, as if through a camera lens. I especially love what you put in about the dress-- no matter how empowered a woman may feel or seem she still needs those little compliments.

J said...

thats jus the type of conversation i'd have :D

. : A : . said...

Khaya - Thanks for your perspective and for dropping by here.

J - With? ;-)

venus said...

I was curious to know cos my brother's in the same industry, into production. if u think it's not very personal, what is your speciality?

. : A : . said...

venus - As I said, in a way I am. No speciality though.