After The Night Out
[Night time. Inside of an SUV. Camera is out of focus. Slowly starts focusing on Him sitting on the passenger side. As it comes into focus, the first focus falls on the window by his side. Droplets of rain. It stopped raining a while ago. Blurred red and blue lights mark the background. Camera focuses on His face. He is looking towards the camera but not at it. Camera cuts from Him to Her at similar angles as they speak.]
Him
(smiling, almost in delight)
Quite an evening!
Her
(trying to concentrate on her driving)
Yes, a bit too much. I don’t like late nights on weekdays.
Him
But this was a one time exception.
Her
I understand, but I am just saying we should not do this too often.
Him
Of course not!
[Camera cuts to view of the road in the front from Her perspective. Starts drizzling again. Windshield wipers come on. Accompanied by sound of wipers but not of rain. Camera cuts back to alternating between them.]
Her
(pauses and looks at him)
Him
(puzzled)
What?
Her
You haven’t noticed my dress all evening.
Him
Of course I have noticed it.
Her
No you have not. You have not said anything about it.
Him
(smug)
I said I noticed it. I don’t have to say something about it to have noticed it.
Her
Argh!
Him
Come on. You look beautiful and you know that.
Her
You should say it more often.
Him
Okay.
[Camera pans out to back of SUV on road and keeps moving upwards. SUV keeps driving off into the drizzle. Light music plays. Camera goes out of focus again]
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40 comments:
seriously compliments are wonderful and should be said often, of course they have to be genuine. enjoyed the scene :)
Creates a picture image.
simple and sweet(don't like using this word ,but at times...)
says a lot with too few words,doesn't it?!
a no-nonsense woman who doesnt like to stay up late on weekdays still needs to be told that she was looking good tonight....hmmm....thet is interesting. i like it for the way it shows in few breif sentences her character and personality.
that he notices her is more important to her than their fun evening is interesting to note too. that he should not tell her straight away, without being asked to, that she is looking nice is strange.
anyway genuine compliments are wonderful, wonderful things, one should not be stingy with them at all.
the camerawork, with the blurred red and blue lights and fading rain adds to the mood of the scene.
thanks for the scene, enjoyed it. :)
Read this. Then went to Scene 42 and re-read it. Realized a backward correlation :)
Are you trying to do what I'm thinking you're trying to do?!
Beautiful - the cliche and the scene! And yes, agree with what the others have to say about compliments.
i like the woman!
and yeah been busy, will put up something soon
typically real. :)
I love the way you look at a scene...the camera angles you use..the placement...you would make a good director you know!
I agree that anyone shouldn't ask for compliments, but I do believe what the woman, any woman or being for that matter, asked for, was a confirmation of sorts. An acknowledgement of her existence in his realm.
No, I don't think that's too much to ask at all.
great going!
The scenes you do are alright. Seinfeld without the comedy. But I don't understand the poetry. Not just yours, but on th e different blogs out there.
THe women have blogs where the poetry is like "A boy looked at me. I wasn't wearing a bra." I at least can see there talking about something their into. I haven't read poetry except on blogs but the rest of it strikes me like mental lint. "I saw a car go by. The light flashed on it. It made spots in front of my eyes." Then everybody goes man, like I had that happen once too... why do people like to read that?
i read it n for the first time in the day i went crazy laughing...oh! if not for these women,our half of the population wud be more seriously taken by the other half!...nm my ramblings...it was fun to view the scene spl the SUV..imagine it taking place in a small 2-seater car (then may be i would've sympathised with the woman).
Good script. You will make a good director.
And why is it necessary to say things when they can be understood?
;-) should i convert it into a short story?
lol
(dats called plagiarism, i guess!)
I like the fact that she's driving :-) And it struck me too - how she's so sensible and practical, yet expects appreciation for the dress. Quintessential woman eh? (and they call me a feminist!)
i havent read the previous scenes, sorry. looks like u have an eye for detail.
I will put this down to you, A, bein perceptive enough to chalk out what happens in many many equations..else it would be just too uncanny!
I will be awake all night trying to figure out what they should not have done :) It could be a whole host of things, if not the obvious.
Exactly my point! I notice everytime u put up a good post, but unless and until I comment our here, u never understand that I was here and appreciated ur thoughts a lot:)
Her:
"I understand, but I am just saying we should not do this too often."
ummmm ... will the husband get to know???
Compliments mean nothing when they are demanded. That he indulges her vanity makes me sad. Does he accept it?
Hey great! I loved the last one of these. I did like the other one better, but I liked the imagery in this one better than the last. If you know what I mean. Does this make sense? I'm sleepy so will blame that :-P
- Martin
The one thing I kept thinking about while reading this was the camera, not the people. When it zooms in, focusing sharply on something, and when it zooms out, the scene is blurred. People do that with each other, don't they? They zoom in on the wrong things, and zoom out when they should be paying attention. I'm not referring to the dress, but rather, what she really means by her annoyance at going out late, or him not noticing her dress. What does she want to zoom in on...what is she trying to say???
pertinent point made my mermaid and finnegan rightly asks, when does the filming start.
:)
ah. i love the little snippets of life you see.
yes, u have a way with words...
him and her seem beautifully delicate....beautifully worded scene
very natural scene this one.. as usual with you, effortlessly done !
Sounds so post marraige. I swear I must have said that to my new husband often just cos I'm paranoid the romance dies out.
nice scene.
A refreshingly painted scene in the rain :)
u've very well depicted woman psychology! I can also remember of myself doing this att times :0
seriously, are u in to production?
Lorena, Samudraa, Avik, sneha, Itineranting, luz de la luna, yvaine, transience, jaded, Ram, Mint Chutney, RS - Thanks. Glad you liked it.
gulnaz - Good observations. You are reading very carefully! :-)
musafir - Yes, I am trying to do what you think I am trying to do!
Brood Mode - Been a long time since I saw a new post from you.
Anil, Sudarshan, Rahul - *bows* I can only try!
irina - They are just playing.
Free Spirit - Yes, it wasn't.
wandering dervish - Thanks! My pleasure.
gen xx - Please refer to finnegan's and irina's comments on yours. :-)
thinkpad - Glad I could bring some laughter to you.
livinghigh - Would be interesting to see. Anyway, I have 'borrowed' the style from wandering dervish.
Geetanjali - Ah yes, the Quintessential woman.
Poison, Again-author - Thanks. You can scroll down the main page and pick up an older scene and all the links to earlier ones written by wandering dervish.
finnegan, gulnaz - I don't know. Maybe when wandering dervish and my scenes 'meet' each other.
stan laurel - Tell me what you thought?
Aradhita - Got the point! ;-)
Bonatellis - You are on a different plane on this one? :-)
Anne - He seems to.
mermaid - Very intersting observations and rightly so.
Tamanna - Tried accessing your blog through your profile but there was no link. Do drop one if you see this. Thanks for your comment and perspective.
venus - In a way, you can say that I am. Thanks for dropping by.
of course i am reading carefully :)
gulnaz - :-)
I love the way you wrote it, as if through a camera lens. I especially love what you put in about the dress-- no matter how empowered a woman may feel or seem she still needs those little compliments.
thats jus the type of conversation i'd have :D
Khaya - Thanks for your perspective and for dropping by here.
J - With? ;-)
I was curious to know cos my brother's in the same industry, into production. if u think it's not very personal, what is your speciality?
venus - As I said, in a way I am. No speciality though.
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