He scribbled
His thoughts
On the pages
Before him
The pages
Grew more and more
Complicated
Immersed
In his thoughts
Grew more and more
Complicated
Immersed
In his thoughts
Then
She overwrote
His thoughts
With the way
She saw things
The pages
Got a life
Of their own
That streaked
Through
Got a life
Of their own
That streaked
Through
In the end
A child
Came along
And scribbled
And tore
The pages
Were now
What you see
They call it
Scribble art
35 comments:
i like the tandem of word and image. and the strikthroughs made the whole so very dramatic.
WOW, I love this!
I get the impression of life progressing. How the lives all merge into one another to become this crazy organic whole and eventually the child eclipsing the parents writings.
Nice stuff. The paper with scribbles was a nice touch to go along with the words!
The imprints of connections and layers lying upon each other, torn and forgotten, woven together again and loved.
I try not to read other comments while I think how I feel about the piece first, but I couldn’t help but notice Luna's part about the "child eclipsing the parents writings." Luna, I loved it, and A, I'll show this to her one day as well.
transience - Thanks. Glad you liked it.
luz de la luna - Thanks for your perspective on this. I like the paper too!
irina - Interesting. Would love to read these poems.
mermaid - Thanks. Am honoured. :-)
Just Beautiful! Perhaps display it as a work of visual and written art.
Namaste,
MB
harmony is seeping out through the chaos of scribbles.the picture seems to have a soul of its own, reflecting the lives of so many people, whose lives are entwined with it.
"The pages
Got a life
Of their own"
Got me thinking on the lines of "blogs have a life of their own" and how "alive" urs is :)
A:
The picture: metaphoric for the footprints and soulprints we leave behind, interweaving with others and rubbing up against their aspirations and expectations. Your words: Streaky thoughts, unfinished sentences, only new the very moment they are pinned down--only to be written over by life as is to be expected. Thoughts, words, children's innocent scribbles--it is graffiti splayed out and splattered about, refusing to be contained--taking on a life of its own. It is the way of the state of flux until "in the end, a child [comes] along...and [tears] the pages...", cementing it into something tangible. You call it "Scribble Art". And then, it starts all over again. Constant art, you know. Dawn.
P.S: Got carried away. After all, what I meant to say is that I love the inside of your mind. Um...did I tell you that I get you? And even if I don't, I can see inside of your head! ;-) Thanks for making me think. Dawn
beautiful.
why the cancel?
maybe it wasnt really there.
should i come out of hiding?
maybe time will tell.
and once again our pages blend in,
in a different timeframe.
Cute.
:)
Describes my best friend from high school's marriage.
I love your technique of crossing out the last two stanzas...probably the most potent of the entire poem. The child is quite a prophetic artist!
Interesting - incredibly so, since this kind of text is usually identified with a feminist text - it's almost like you're subverting the feminists texts, just as they did decades ago...
Viewing it without any gender-perspective, it's a hard-hitting description of life, in general...
The image just went so well with the text - our life does resemble that doesn't it?
Powerful - the image and the way you've 'penned' the post.
The wealth of thought behind your simple words and complex imagery never ceases to amaze.
Loved this in particular:
"Then
She overwrote
His thoughts
With the way
She saw things"
And the effect of the strikethroughs is simply awesome - brilliantly crafted post.
Having married a strong-willed Irish-Italian, and being quite strong-willed myself, this reminds me of our marriage! ;) Then, of course, the children came along and completely turned our lives upside down, only we don't want to admit that, hence the crossed-out text.
That's the first thing I thought when I saw this. It's so interesting to see what the other comments had to say too.
you are so creative!!! i'm amazed, impressed and happy that i'm lucky to see such talent :)
the way you show us about relationships in this image and with your words, LOVE IT.
that's how all good things are born, they say!
;-)
yes, i'm back. ;-) come by - new look LIVINGhigh up.
"Then
She overwrote
His thoughts
With the way
She saw things"
how easily we bend for a loved one...
how easily we melt at their words..
Nice!
can i link u?
Sigh!
u r my fav blogger!!! :D
I've been reading you a couple of days now. Came here through Bonatellis's blog.. and i must say - that you are gifted. Such potent ideas and thoughts, exhibited in a most powerful and creative manner. Simply amazing. ACE.
Glad to meet a fellow poet who vividly displays his thoughts... :)
Lovely site. First time here. You seem to be somene who is interested in photography. Do visit my photo-blog snapshots2097.blogspot.com and tell me your views.
Will surely be back here!
This is amazing...I was really amazed beyond words...This poem is innovative....
Great touch...I now got a chnce to explore something new...poetry has daring touch too
Thank you for allowing me to see that
what a great unique and orginal expression. your voice is so definitive.
I also scribble all the times to it helps me clarify my own mind. I find it helping me.
A picture emphasising on a thing, no one saves :)
this is zen
scribble art or life?
another of your example of how you pick up small tiny things which ordinarily would be crumpled up and thrown away and write about them and in doing so show it from an angle which is wide and deep.
there is an intimacy to this post.
Its amazing, how you descibed the act of scribbling first by two thoughtful persons, and then by a kid...
though there is a great difference in the way the first two people used the paper and how the kid eventually did... all of it is still called scribbling :)
nice picture to accompany the words :))
I love the way the images live up to the splendidness and wonder of the words contined. Will remain in my mind for a while, thank you for such pretty thoughts.
.:a:., the response to this writing is substantial. you are connecting with many. the photo rounded out the feeling.
irina - Thanks for sharing. Will be sure to check it out. Unfortuantely, I can't speak French.
MARYBETH - Thanks for the idea.
Poison, Paul, stan laurel, manababies, venus, AmitKen - Thanks for your perspective on this piece.
samudraa, Ash, finnegan, Manjusha, yvaine, iamnasra, DeeM, jenn see, Billy, patina - Thanks!
dawn - Don't think you got carried away. I enjoyed reading through the comment. Made me think too!
teleute - Thanks. Of course, you can link up.
Potted-flower - Find out? Not sure what you mean by that. I thought up the poem. The words were photographed by me.
Anonymous - Okay, come out of hiding then.
Geetanjali - Yes it does. Thanks for your thoughts.
musafir, Lorena, Prat - Glad you enjoyed it so.
livinghigh - Welcome back! Will check it out shortly.
Brood Mode - Yes, we do.
J - *bows*
Princesse - Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Glad you enjoy it. Look forward to seeing you around.
Srikar - Thanks, will drop by.
gulnaz - A bit of both? :-)
the font at the end esp makes it real.
sneha - Yep, it does.
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