Thursday, January 13, 2005

The first time

The sounds permeated through the walls and brought back memories of the first time.

Those memories linger like smoke rings and fade away. Only to be replaced by the next one and the next one. And as memory after memory spewed forth, restrained emotions surface. The restrained emotions surfacing, gave rise to thoughts that would not have otherwise occurred. The thoughts that would have not otherwise occurred, bring doubt to the mind. The doubt that came to the mind, tested the fragility of relationships. The fragility of relationships is what leads to the cracks in trust. The cracks in trust lead to distrust. Distrust leads to suspicion. Suspicion leads to distrust. Distrust causes cracks in trust. The cracks in trust test the fragility of relationships. When the fragility of relationships are tested, doubt comes to the mind. When doubt comes to the mind, thoughts that would have not otherwise occurred rise. With the rise of thoughts that would have not otherwise occurred, restrained emotions surface. As restrained emotions surface, memory after memory spews forth. Only to be replaced by the next one and the next one. Those memories linger like smoke rings and fade away.

The first time it happened, I said it would be the last time.

But it wasn’t.


19 comments:

Animesh said...

That's a good one, buddy :)

Miss Qt said...

Human feelings are hard to control and that can make us go crazy!

Aradhita said...

Yes. I percieve. The cycle you mention, the thoughts which echo back and the echo of that echo...and so on. Did you think you will lose me midway? Well, no. I percieve.
cya,
Aradhita.

Garrison Steelle said...

And then memory and reality collide ...

-G

:..M..: said...

Very well written. Particularly liked the way you ended it. Had this..steel sort of clang in my head. Like the final words have been said.

IJ said...

First of ... I liked the background of your blog.
Second .. this was beautifully written.

Cori said...

Spirals, ripples, circles! Only if we could choose what we revisit in our endless loops! Lovely and thoughtful prose!!!

Phal said...

funny thing is, im listeing to sting, and when i began reading this, fragile ended, and the next song was if i ever lose my faith in you...

Jessica said...

WOW Good read, as always of course!

. : A : . said...

Animesh, Aradhita, Infatuation Junkie - Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Look forward to seeing you around.

Queen Mo - Yes, I know what you mean.

Aradhita - Glad to know you could follow and perceive.

Garrison Steelle - Yes, they do.

:..M..: - Thanks. I had started out with that as the beginning earlier but it seemed so much better as an ending.

Cori - Thanks. Choice is a powerful thing.

Phal - Amazing coincidence!

Jessica - Thanks, as always!

:..M..: said...

Good thing you stuck to keep it at the ending. Sounds much better this way. Wraps it up neatly.

Shubhi said...

Hi, Here for the first time.Very nice Blog u'v got. Your thoughts seem to be very varied and the way you put them into words is amazing.
Great.

. : A : . said...

:..M..: - Agree completetly.

Shubhi - Thanks for dropping by and for your comment. Look forward to seeing you again.

Deez said...

one vicious circle that is....wow! grt post.

. : A : . said...

Vanilla - Thanks. Look forward to seeing you around.

dewdrop said...

very good play in words :-) we always come full circle dont we?

. : A : . said...

dewdrop - Yes, we do. We do.

Jyotsna said...

Vicious cycle it is,u bet and we keep getting into it all of the time,despite the awareness.Is it some need within that drives us to be this way--?
great post
amazing interplay of words
wil be back again
smiles:)

. : A : . said...

Jyotsna Kumar - Yes it is a viscious cycle. Thanks and looking forward to having you back!

:-)