The shadows stretched across the grass like a warm liquid running through. As the clouds moved over the skies, the liquid of the shadows spread and turned the light to darkness. A gusty wind blew across the leaves that were lying about, untended. The air was rife with a feeling of contemplated casualness.
The skin on her bare shoulders glistened as the light came back on to it. It enveloped her in its embrace of shadows and reflections. The light played tricks on her skin and hair, making her look larger than life. Making her the foreground and the world her background. The air was rife with a feeling of sensual sentiments.
Then, she turned. In slow motion. As she turned, the rest of the clouds seemed to make way for her. They moved over, making the liquid of the shadows recede back into their original self. Light permeated through the grass. The leaves settled down as the wind moved away to another destination. The air was rife with a feeling of parallel possibilities.
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A dream within a dream
About Me
- . : A : .
- There is a magic in the air that permeates through the very soul of my existence. There is a stillness in the night that floods my senses beyond my imagination. There is a madness inside of me that overflows in everything that I create. There is a past behind me that is overcrowded with memories that drain me out.
38 comments:
wow, i sucked in my breath as i read this!!!
this i think has to be the most beautiful, the most loving piece you have yet written! the words reads like caresses.
forgot to add, i especially liked the way you have repeated the final sentence in all the three paragraphs but with a different air to each three. the same place carries a different scent at different times.
Wonderful ! Gulnaz put it well, the lines do read like a gentle caress. Very very sensual !
wonderful writing,my favourite bit 'Making her the foreground and the world her background.' it is that moment when you are conpletely absorbed by a persons presence
Your prose is as liquid and as compact (in its coherence) -- simultaneously -- as ever. I am swayed to utmost admiration for the flow of your words...
As she turned, the rest of the clouds seemed to make way for her. They moved over, making the liquid of the shadows recede back into their original self.
Sigh. Allow me to exclaim: I absolutely love these two sentences!! ^_^
your words bring her close to us...
i am cooled by the breeze, touched by the shadows, moved by her glistening skin...
your poetry so exquisite i can see her just as you do...
and in my seeing her i become her...
very moving... lines that linger As she turned, the rest of the clouds seemed to make way for her. They moved over, making the liquid of the shadows recede back into their original self...
i almost feel this thrust to my bones! gave me the goosebumps! she must be such a wonderful woman. and what awe would it be to have her discover something beautifully written for her.
gulnaz, Soulless - Glad you liked this piece so much.
Ash, atomicvelvetsigh - Thanks.
Sue hardy-Dawson - Yes, it is.
feminine expressions - Good to know that you could relate to it.
Oh my. That was absolutely breath-taking!!
I liked 'the wind moved away to another destination'....and noted that you too like using common lettered words....Contemplated casualness , sensual sentiments , Parallel possibilities.....its called alankaar in hindi ..there must be some word for it in english as well....I tend to do that a lot.....rustic ruminations !!!
lovely. picturable. very eerie-ish, but magical. powerful as well...
the best part about ur words is that they create an imagery with the most unlikely combination of words..i just love that..esp: 'Making her the foreground and the world her background.'
:..M..: - Welcome back and thanks!
rusty - I believe it is called alliteration. ;-) If you like it, there are a couple of posts in the archives with lots of alliteration.
Phal - Thank you.
erratica - Thank you for picking it up. *bows*
This is most beautiful. I love all of it. Words that take me there. Nice indeed!
Hey! What're you saying welcome back for! I've always been reading your blog. You know that.
I echo the sentiment voiced by others above - very visual. Incredibly sensuous as well! I particularly loved this line :-
Making her the foreground and the world her background.
-Here after some days, so I caught up on the previous posts as well. Message in a bottle said SO much to me!
The words stretched across the LCD like twinkling stars, or perhaps droplest of light. The imagery engulfed me till I was drowned in the sea of visual endowments bestowed upon me by a beautiful mind. The alphabets played tricks with my senses. Making a sensation my world, and the world not even a sensation. Then it ended. Three paragraphs of bliss. A hundred and seventy four words. And no reactions. Just speechlessness. The air was rife with a feeling of humbling gratitude.
Parallel possibilities.
I understood something only after reading this. Two people can see her, but only one sees the world as her stage, shining behind her, in the "background". To any other person, she would be a small part of the picture.
how do you manage to write this way.. smooth poetic prose..!
Amazing!
A real good one after quite sometime.It is absolutely refreshing and NEW!!
loved the last lines (gul seems to have articulate it well)and the first lines too.
truly beautiful and i would repeat new :)
the word rife is filled with promise. you used it beautifully here.
shyloh - Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Glad you liked it.
:..M..: - I meant in terms of commenting. :-)
aristera says - Yes, I have read the book. Thanks for dropping by and commenting.
Geetanjali - Thanks. Glad you liked it. Care to say more about Message In A Bottle? ;-)
Phoenix - Your comment is a post in itself. Thanks for sharing your wonderful words here.
mermaid - Thanks for your perspective.
Ram - I just go with the flow.
Samudraa - Thanks. This was something new to me too.
transience - Yes it is.
Women/nature. Great theme. And really well done, so visual and introspective at the same time. I really like this one a lot.
ansolutely lovely. the first line had me immediately... it was a flirt, but more.
..the last para made me smile.. felt like SHE radiates calmness.. and the serenity in her face soothes the bustling nerves..disturbance receding back... making u feel relaxed..and smile a peaceful smile :)....
beautifully visual. really like the end. or rather the possible endlessness...
Come away with me in the night
And I will write you a song
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies
I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows
Knee-high
And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Christ, .:A:., I was holding my breath throughout! Quite like Touch by Octavio Paz... a sensual onslaught!
Touch
My hands
open the curtains of your being
clothe you in a further nudity
uncover the bodies of your body
My hands
invent another body for your body
Octavio Paz
The nature had stopped still to make away for this lady ...I wish it would happen to me....
I would like to be your shadow at the moment and gt the feel how are you inspired ....
I am trying to breath... That was really breath taking... who is she.
contemplated casualness...sensual sentiments...parallel possibilities...
Every para ending in a beautifully choreographed alliterative phrase! Its like a slow sensuous undressing...
anticipation...
Great stuff :)
Paul, small squirrel, sneha, iamnasra - Thanks. Glad you liked it.
thoughts - I like your take on it.
J - Thanks a lot for the verse.
Extempore - *bows*
Mayur Channagere - She is The One. ;-)
Pincushion - Yes, it is. Am happy you saw it.
Words cant do justice.....superb stuff.
Sudarshan - *bows*
Reading through your older posts.. and god, they are lovely.
I think I'm learning to write well with every post that I read of yours :)
Casablanca - *bows*
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