Thursday, September 22, 2005

Close

And then you come to terms with it. That it has all been one, big, elaborate lie. The beginning was a lie, as was the ending.

Beautiful, isn’t it? It started with a lie and ended with a lie. Everything in between was a whirlwind. Everything in between was the truth. Everything in between was every moment that he wanted to live and relive. Everything in between will now be forgotten. Because of this moment. Because of this last lie.

They move closer to each other. Shifting perspectives. Making compromises. Feeling feelings.

As he looks on, he recalls those first moments. How they came about. And as he recalls it bit by bit, the story begins to blur, to edit itself into its own story. Into beginnings and endings. Everything in between is forgotten. Everything in between is frozen in another time. A parallel universe.

He remembers the contradiction of that final delicate harsh moment. How it defined them. Everything that meant anything all rolled into one.

His footsteps squelched of the rain that stopped five minutes ago. There was a feeling of mist in the air, but there was no mist. Just pregnant moments. The coffee had a drying effect as it swirled in his mouth. Something was about to happen.

Thousands of miles away a sad feeling crept in. It was not as easy as it had seemed. One lie had not led to another. It led to the truth. The only way to end it was another lie. Strange. That is not what they warn you about lying. But then, life is ironical.

You are back where you started. But not exactly.


50 comments:

Casablanca said...

I guess we never do come back to the same place.. maybe its a spiral. We go one full circle, and come back somewhere close, but in a parallel world.

Ram said...

sad.. however i do feel there is some point of reunion in life's relations however different directions they take.. but, its always a different place/time and not the same, as you said..

__***___ said...

Sad indeed.
Like a circle, can't life begin from where it ended?

A splendid piece of writing.

thoughts said...

like having lost something u never had?

finnegan said...

It has been said that lying gets you nowhere. This piece seems to subtly suggest that it leads you, if not everywhere, somewhere.

And what is a lie in this post-Orwellian world we live in, with "truth" a much more slippery idea than "the truth".

Ash said...

Hmmm... sad and complicated...

Ubermensch said...

evoked memories of my earlier post
http://13th-deja-vu.blogspot.com/2004/12/story-of-choice.html

Jithu said...

encircling the circle of life.. nice piece man..

feminine expressions said...

oh, i love this, i love this, i love this...

how exquisite..."the story begins to blur, to edit itself into its own story."

and, oh, how painful to read "everything in between will now be forgotten. because of this moment. because of this last lie." (every lover’s fear, that the way things ended will destroy the memory of everything it had been.)

and the lie leading to the truth that ends in a lie...i will have to sit with that for quite some time to ponder it and to enjoy its understanding

i love this...

Paul said...

I actually think I know what you mean, although to flatly state it like this is nothing compared to how you wrote it - plus I could be wrong! But I'll take a chance...

The highs and lows on which relationships begin and end can be quite illusory - "lies." The real stuff's in-between - ?

mermaid said...

I hope to read this as part of a book, play one day. I can say I've read other works by the author, and always marvel at his perception and investigation of human characters and their lives, and "all the in between".

small squirrel said...

wow. ouch.
makes me think of so many things.

and what is a lie? who owns the truth? I ask these questions but I am the first one to rail against the slightest hint of the "truth" obstructed. then again... we all have our lies and we love them so well that they become our truths, yes?

transience said...

like a circle helped back to its own beginning, but not quite as perfect.

chaos said...

Interesting... lovely...

Buddy... u just phrased in words what a life goes thru... indeed like a spiral... u just feel that u've return to the start... but actually on a different plane! the gap between the start and the end is the life...

bottom line... Life goes on...

Brood Mode said...

"it ultimately fails it purpose"- that's the brutal truth about lies

yvaine said...

Ah, this hurts, this strikes right through the heart, this is so true.

Pincushion said...

Some say that there are no absolute truths...
But then..is there such a thing as an absolute lie...?
somehow, somewhere in between these truths n lies, lies life itself...
and sadly so does love.
:)

iamnasra said...

I do not know why you poetic words left feeling really sad...

Something inside of me is hurting and ache is huge

Geetanjali said...

Interesting play with reconstruction...

Geetanjali said...

Interesting play with reconstruction...

Phoenix said...

i increasingly get the feeling that u r in the middle of writing something bigger and karger, and all thses are little tit bits from there, pages from the great produnct...glimpses.....

exquisite as usual!

Billy said...

a deep reflection.

Bonatellis said...

simply fabulous :-)

rusty said...

'The only way to end it was another lie'......the endings should be honest ...at least ....I think....its a tad confusing ...this post..did it become a lie so you cd come to terms with it....or was it actually a lie that you came to terms with eventually??

Anil said...

I see what you mean now...yes, there are certain similarities....without meaning to intrude I think I see similar situations happening...

hmm...here it seems more circular...one is back where one has started but in mine one cannot go back to where it all started because one is irrevocably changed by what has happened in the interwening time....

Rahul said...

Sad.

"He remembers the contradiction of that final delicate harsh moment. How it defined them."......Loved those lines.

aristera says said...

sad and beautiful.
but we NEVER EVER EVER come back to the same point. over time, space metamorphoses into someting else, more often than not- something not as nice as before.

Extempore said...

The agonising, almost crushing beauty of your song leaves nothing more for me to say.

And no, I am not being too kind. :-)

Extempore said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anne said...

"Everything in between is a whirlwind." I love this image. Hope you are doing well, I have been away, been missing your blog.

. : A : . said...

Casablanca, Ram, transience, Pincushion, aristera says - Good perspective. Agree.

vasu - Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

thoughts, Brood Mode - Could be.

finnegan - Interesting thoughts. The post merely suggests that lying also creates worlds.

Ash - And the hhmmm?

Ubermensch - Went and saw it. Similar for sure.

jithU, Geetanjali, Billy, Rahul - Thanks.

feminine expressions, mermaid, Phoenix, Bonatellis - *bows*

Paul - I thought it was the other way round too. :-)

small squirrel, chaos, yvaine, iamnasra, Anil - Glad you could relate with this and it could spark off some thought.

rusty - All endings are not always honest. Sometimes the revalation of the lie is the truth that you seek.

Extempore - :-)

. : A : . said...

Anne - Thanks and welcome back.

rusty said...

Maybe at that precise moment lie might become the better truth....but that is not the end. If it is not an honest ending...it is not an ending yet....Lies dont last....they linger around....for the truth.

. : A : . said...

rusty - It is all a matter of perspective. Endings can be lies too. Because there is always a chance that the one being lied to will never know.

Cecilia said...

"Falling in love" is the illusory thing. Perhaps, because of the refusal to see things as they are, the rose-tinted glass cancels out the truth and lets one see the "favorable dimension" of "everything (that is) in between". Only in the "end" when realizations hit, does the glass break down. Instead of shattering it into pieces, the parts snap back into place. And that is the only real truth that was there even in the beginning.

. : A : . said...

Cecilia - Thanks for dropping by here and sharing your thoughts. Found them very interesting.

rusty said...

Yeah...there is that chance....but what if it comes out? And moreover...it is difficult to live a lie.

. : A : . said...

rusty - Again, a matter of perspective. What if it does not? For some people, it is not difficult. :-)

rusty said...

Yeah...for some people it is not difficult to live a lie.....But stil what if they have to confront it....? Its a matter of perspective...I know....but you cant force your perspective on the other person and create an illusory ending just cos you are convinced that it is the right thing to do....

. : A : . said...

rusty - Not forcing any perspective here. Just saying that there are different ways of looking at things. That's all. Everyone is entitled to a different point of view. Appreciate yours. Thanks for sharing it here.

Gypsy Girl said...

Your methods are so honest and real, how rare that is to find. Only in poetry does the truth still seem to matter. Thank you for this.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
. : A : . said...

Gypsy Girl - My pleasure!

venus said...

my mom used to say when we were young, if youlie once, you have to lie 1000 more times to cover up your lie.

. : A : . said...

venus - :-) Even I have heard that line so many times!

Lorena said...

love the writing here. i have never been one to lie and from experience i'm glad i have never begun something with one. still the idea of all lies leading to truth, very deep.

always painting beautiful, intense moments, thanks!!

the cowlick said...

Isn't that the only thing which matters? The beginning and the end - if it has one. I'd prefer all else to be a whirlwind, just a memory that I can never really remember. They say enjoy the ride. Well, I dont want to enjoy the ride so much that I never want it to end.. and when it does end, I'm caught unprepared.

N.V.Balaji said...

A nice piece of writing. Quite Intense one.

atomicvelvetsigh said...

let me just say one word...

Ouch!

. : A : . said...

Lorena - Thanks!

the cowlick - Thanks for dropping by and sharing your perspective. Tried going to your blog but your profile did not have a link. Do drop the URL if you see this.

N.V.Balaji - Thanks for dropping by and commenting here.

atomicvelvetsigh - One word that says a lot!