The Decision
[Evening time. A path in a park, sloping and coming upwards towards the top of a small hill. Camera pans from the gravel and moves upwards giving a side view of the path. Camera then pulls out and traces the path upwards while capturing the greenery around. You can see the leaves fluttering from the blowing wind. On the top of the hill there is a round stone table and two figures are sitting around it. Camera cuts to showing half of the back of His head and the other half is focused on Her face.]
Her
So this is it?
Him
Why does it have to be it?
Her
We need to decide.
Him
Okay, then decide.
Her
I said ‘we’ need to decide, not ‘I’ need to decide.
Him
(sighs)
Her
Don’t do that. You know I hate it when you do that.
[Camera slowly rotates to the back of her head, revealing him. He looks different from what we have seen of him earlier. A disheveled look and a stubble mark his face. But he does not look tired.]
Him
(smiles)
Her
What?
Him
(playfully) And I love it when you do that.
[Light music plays. Camera pans upwards showing an aerial view of the round table and the two figures seated around. Fade to black.]
This is an attempt to ‘continue’ and ‘borrow’ a style from Wandering Dervish of Loud Thinking. You can read Parts 1-6 here and Part 7 here.
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30 comments:
I like it. It depicts the sometimes futility of words as well as the little absurdities of life. Dawn
I must be reading too much Beckett these days - this post, for me, has a very strong flavour of the absurd. The first part of this exchange reminded me of Waiting for Godot and the meaningless exchanges between Vladimir and Estragon as they keep saying they should go, but don't go anywhere...
As for the form - you know the cliches series at Loud Thinking was so intriguing and interesting - something so hashed out, yet there's always something not said and left open to interpretation. You've achieved that as well - as I said to WD, it would be damn interesting to compile these cliches and see where it goes...
mmm, liked the fluttering leaves along the path, up the hill to the stone table but i would hv liked to see more of the scene. it ended too quickly for me but the open ending is evocative and his playful smile at her anxiety, so loving. liked the stubble but not tired look of him. ;] what was she looking like?
gulnaz
"WE" not "I"
how different they are...
looks like neither wants to decide ... their appears to be a distinct reluctance ...
then why sit down to decide ... unless they are about to decide in the positive ...
awesome! all of 'em!
Once again, you leave us wondering about what it's all about. ;-)
Maybe I should start reading this Wandering Dervish of Loud Thinking thing.
Sounds like "romantic" love to me...
You think everything she (he) does is cute. I think you've gotta watch out for too much of that.
When I was a young ESL teacher, I was tutoring a female student in her late teens. Obviously I wasn't going to do anything to get myself fired, plus I valued the form of relationship that we had.
But her effect on me was a warning: somebody like this could take your life over. She had this kind of "little princess" demeanor, and all her fussy little ways, which probably plenty of people would have found off-putting, were totally charming to me.
AH! What a surprise! This gave me a smile! Thank you!
Actually this reminded me of parts of "Kiss of the Spider Woman" novel where he explains movies to Valentin.]
A figure of a man typing in front of a computer. A computer in front of a window. Beyond the window is the orange dying of the light as the sun descends beyond a horizon.
Camera pans around... fade to black.
Wishes
La Luna
You are on your way to becomming quite a director. This is an interesting scene (in terms of dialogue,) and even more interesting are your camera directions. You really paint the image in the movie screen in my mind.
"Her
Don’t do that. You know I hate it when you do that."
---
"Him
(playfully) And I love it when you do that."
---
Ah, I know exactly what you're talking about!
Interesting way of setting up a scene - could visualise evrything with no effort at all. Thanks for making me see this side to a blog post - now my imagination is off and running :)
ah. this was original and refreshing. and it has intrigue written all over it.
The proverbial disconnect, the impatience, the purposeful avoidance, the games people play.
I guess I should comment on the detail of the camera, or the characters, but what stood out the most for me was the truth behind their characters.
She frets over decisions and details. He smiles, and states his disposition so simply.
"And I love it when you do that."
..so tell us, 'who' is your inspiration?
i am convinced i need to ask 'who' and not 'what'
great idea. great dialogue.
when she does what? :)
i think the camera angles are ridiculous. don't go with the text at all. and *what is the idea*?
I would've loved to see the smile.
hmm sounds interesting...
will read it all up. but till then...
IM BAK IM BAK IM BAK IM BAK!!!!!!!!
dude, you are really awful. are you seriously writing a book? that's hilarious.
anonymous: what's even funnier is that he has a fan following!
It was chilly up on that hill. And then just as I thought of something interesting to say they stopped filming.
no doubt you have so many fans!
This is an amazing piece! and a great attempt...
i was sucked in...i know that!
I am tempted to ask so many questions..and then i realize that that's why your writing is so powerful...
you feel and write...
unlike many others!
some of your very best stuff in my opinion,
what a cliche... cliche indeed... once again your words had made my lips tight. my ears wide shut and my eyes bleed with the thought of you not noticing me...
Absurd, yes. But reminds me of a play I read. Which brings me to say, this could make a brilliant script for a play.
so what happened?
Is ::A:: alive, or what???
dawn, Aradhita, mermaid - Thanks.
Potted-flower - The links to the past posts are at towards the end of this one. Do have a look.
Geetanjali - Yes, it does. Thanks.
gulnaz - More to come in the next scene?!?! :-)
Brood Mode - Very.
Bonatellis - You never know.
Miss Qt - Please do. There is a link.
Paul - Thanks for sharing your experience. Much appreciated.
luz de la luna - My pleasure!
stan laurel, perspective, Jessica - Thanks for your lovely words and support.
musafir - Glad you liked it so.
finnegan - 'The mind right out of your words'?
transience - Intrigue was the key. Glad you picked it up.
Itineranting - Thanks for dropping by and for your comment.
Anonymous (..so tell us, 'who' is your inspiration?) - You need to tell me 'who' you are first! ;-)
Lorena - Read again? ;-)
Kafka on the Shore - Which one is? You might need to read the earlier parts.
Free Spirit - I am sure you would.
Elixir - Welcome back!
Roger Stevens - We can start filming again.
Mystique - Not yet, but thanks.
Anonymous (what a cliche) - I am noticing your comments.
Phal - Interesting thought.
Bonatellis - Alive and back!
Now that its embedded in my mind...I am waiting to know what happens next :)...you make a great director.
Sudarshan - Thanks. Will try and write another installment sometime soon.
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