Saturday, June 18, 2005

Don't

Don't stop yourself
From writing this
It has to be written

My two voices spoke to me today, and I melted as I listened to them. They told me things that I didn't want to hear but I needed to hear. It was a realization of sorts. Actually, it wasn't. It was just a story. A story of how this was all going to come together. It was a story of the future. So it was something that may or may not come true. It was something that was in my own hands. The two voices spoke of two different directions. One that was to be taken in the knowledge of what I had heard and the other was to ignore it and to carry on. Sometimes, you have more information than you need to make a decision. Then how do you go about it? This was part of the problem that I was facing at this stage. But this was just the easy part. The difficult part was actually the decision to take it forward. Whatever I decided I needed to take it forward. It was one way or the other. There was no middle path. There could be no middle path. The two voices were drowning out each other to be heard. And neither could be heard now. All I could hear was the oncoming of silence. The silence that meant that it was time to decide. The silence that meant it was time to write this down. The silence that meant it was time to read this again for what it was. The silence.

Don't stop yourself
From reading this
It has to be read


37 comments:

KJ said...

why is that, your posts always leave me speechless....

gulnaz said...

its amazing how you have got into words, something as absttract as the thought process, the deciding moments. love the way you have described each element in it, seperately. i don't think there is a person who will read it and not relate to it.
When you describe about silence, its as if amidst all the cacaphony of the pros and the cons, somewhere the decision has been reached and its now time for the judgement to be read.

Whatever I decided I needed to take it forward

avanti!

sal said...

Simply amazing. Very well written.

mermaid said...

Always liked the way you begin and end your posts. It is not enough to be acknowledged; it has to be known. This reminded me of the voice of fear and the voice of courage. Changes are never easy, but necessary to move forward.

DeeM said...

'the silence that meant it was time to write this down'. That silence is my zen. You've written about that 'place' perfectly. Intense.

Misreflection said...

Your blog is awesome, love your writings , your sensitivity and expressivness, just wish I had more time to read all posts.. But will be back for sure. Thoughts , decisions, voices within , gees I can relate.Good luck with the decision, I always go with ..if it feels right ..do it.:-)
tks for dropping by my blog and your comment, appreciated..

Just call me T said...

You are a lot like me... spreading your wings by using your words, your inner visions that seem to separate. At night the darkness crosses me and with each new speck that lands on my skin I feel a new sensation, one that only lives for that brief moment and then exhales as if letting go.
Every day is so much like the minutes that pass on your watch. Tick tock.. Tick tock.. And still the definition has been left empty. Ever go to bed at night and wonder what those that live where the sun shines are doing as the moon covers you? Sometimes I close my eyes and wish that I could see past all the hassles of the day and just take a deep breath letting the rain wash me clean. How invigorating that would be.

Anonymous said...

i just have to write this. but im hiding in a name that i used to hide myself from. i just have to say .. i always fantasize myself embeded in your thoughts in your words in your poems. a 'secret crush' a 'secret admirer' ive not posted a comment in a while coz i see you happy with those people posting theirs.
now i just cant keep it but to be totally honest i hide myself with no name. ive always thought i knew you and i actually think i have hints that determine that i really know you in real life. confusing? well you always have kept me puzzled.
mm.. should i say this? mmm ive fallen inlove with you from day one.

M said...

Excellent writing there...beautiful capture of a moment in one's life when the road ahead forks...:) I need a whole day to read all your posts!

Thanks for stopping by mine..

. : A : . said...

KJ - Is that in a good way or a bad way?

gulnaz, the woman, DeeM - Thanks. Glad you liked it.

mermaid - Yes, change is not easy but definitely necessary, to move ahead.

Misreflection - Thanks for coming by too. Looking forward to seeing you here again. The blog is around to be read at your leisure.

T - Thanks for dropping by here and putting down your perspective. Much appreciated. Will drop by your blog soon.

Anonymous - Thanks for your words. I am now both confused as well as intrigued as to who you are.

M - Welcome and take your time to read here. Look forward to seeing you around.

Anonymous said...

If we all could take it forward so eloquently. Love the poetry of your mind. dawn
dawnprince.com

_Soulless_ said...

From "Don't" to "read"... I detect a sense of urgency. Free-flowing thought. And the restlessness... quite palpable.

Sometimes, you have more information than you need to make a decision.

Now, there's my fave line of yours. ^_^ Bravo.

finnegan said...

it seems that when so-called opposites are at odds in this manner, that the only way to proceed is through silence. it seems that the whole planet has yet to learn this simple fact.

many of your ideas seem rooted in this sort of fundamental struggle of seeming opposites. your deep probing through the art of words is not only encouraging, but moving.

stan laurel said...

It's like a modern-day version of "The Road Not Taken."

"Two roads diverged in yellow road."

Sometimes the decision is the hardest part. Choose wisely, but remember what Yoda whispered to Luke Skywalker, "There is another."

Mystique said...

Very well written. It also reminded me of Frost's The Road Not Taken. Silence can take you places you have never been and sense feelings you have never experienced before.

Manjusha said...

Gemini by any chance?

Aradhita said...

Reminded me of 'Blink'...the power to take an important decsision in the blink of an eye!

Kripa Shankar said...

very interesting...I can see where you are heading....
EA, this post seems to have complex merging of spirituality , fate, science, and philosophy...but you have written it beautifully in such a way that, all the members of all school of thoughts will be happy...

cheers.

KJ said...

Good way.... Nothing bad about the way you spin out words, bring out the emotions & feelings...

KJ

NicoleBraganza said...

How do you write so well about something so abstract? Its so true, all that you say.

ruby said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Samudraa said...

loved it,but wont call it ur masterpiece..

Brood Mode said...

The difficult part was actually the decision to take it forward

understood that line so well...

every post of yours makes me feel I lead two lives. I will not elaborate!

transience said...

starting and ending on the same not, but not quite. this was beautiful. and inspiring.

Lorena said...

wow, i've been in this place. i have felt a sense of relief when writing down my feelings as if this would help me process them and say goodbye to them. sometimes it works. i guess that is what journals are for. and i also have hesitated and avoided writing certain things down because i didn't want to take a different path just yet....i love how you have described this moment that we all have come across. "The silence that meant it was time to write this down."
i can always relate to your thoughts and i'm always impressed with such beautiful writing :)

Geetanjali said...

The urgency and restlessness in this one was very very palatable - this was truly brilliant August.

Btw glimpsed a comment while scrolling down - and thogh I profess no such feelings, must admit I'm oft curious about you, for your blog reveals not a hint of personal details for the uninitiated! Oft have I wodnered how you refrain frm bringing the personal element in and oft have I admired it!

Free Spirit said...

One word.

Deafening.

Jyotsna said...

"The two voices spoke of two different directions"...i think we all have these two voices within us,divergent yet valid!I liked this piece,very probing and introspective!

. : A : . said...

dawnprince, Soulless, Nicole Braganza, transience, Free Spirit, Jyotsna - Thanks.

finnegan - Silence is sometimes comforting but at other times deadly. Thanks.

stan laurel - Thanks. I think that line was said to Obi-Wan. :-)

Mystique - Thanks. Agree.

Manjusha - The thoughts or me?

Aradhita - Interesting connection.

Kripa Shankar - Thanks for your lovely words.

KJ - Got it.

rubyq - You comment has disappeared?

samudraa - Nor would I!

Brood Mode - No need to. I understand.

Lorena - Thanks. Am glad you can relate to the writing and it brings back so many thoughts.

Geetanjali - Thanks. Isn't there a personal touch in everything we do even if we don't reveal it?

Manjusha said...

Both?

. : A : . said...

Manjusha - Maybe one is? ;-)

ruby said...

Another post with a feeling of intense deja vu to me, actually it took me to a cross roads in my life,and through your post i have come to undertsand the path i chose better :-).
hasnt made me unhappy , in fact has helped me undertsand .

. : A : . said...

rubyq - Am glad that it could help you so. Thanks for taking the time out to let me know.

musafir said...

Wonderful.

Everything you've said here sounds so familiar...the two voices, the story of the future, the silence...I guess all of us go through times when we have no "middle path", and we just have to 'write' our lives one way and 'read' it later.

. : A : . said...

musafir - Thanks. Yes, these times do come along.

Sudarshan said...

I agree with Stan...it reminded me so much of the "Road not taken"...simply wonderful

. : A : . said...

Sudarshan - Thanks.