This is the fourth time I am writing this.
So what is ‘this’? ‘This’ is actually nothing. It is an imaginary thought, a vision, a dream. Could it happen? I am not sure. But I want it to. I don’t know what I would do if it happened, but I think I would want to see what I would do. It would be the fourth time it will happen. But not the fourth time for me. For me, it will be a first. And first times are scary. Think about all your ‘first times’. Not as in looking back, but as in that very moment when it was happening or about to happen and you did not know what would happen after it. How things would turn out.
This is the fourth time I am thinking about this.