Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Drama (a 55 word poem)

The plot thickens
After
The stage
Is set

The players improvise
When
They forget
Their lines

The backstage romance
Lingers
In characters
Who don’t

The makeup girl
Hides
Everything except
The eyes

The demanding director
Surveys
Always disappointed
With something

The critics
Gasp
Not understanding
The drama

The drama
Isn’t
In the script
You see



Note: Ever since the '55 word story' started, I have wondered what it would be like to attempt a '55 word poem'. I thought that 55 words in a poem have the potential to convey so much more than 55 words in a piece of prose. This is my first conscious attempt at a '55 word poem', and I don’t recall seeing any other attempt till now (maybe I haven’t looked enough). While I would like to see others take this on, I know it may not appeal to many. In case you plan to give it a go, do drop a link here and/or add the technorati tag below at the bottom of your attempt.


Tag:


Other 55 Word Poems
(will keep updating)

Abhishek Mehrotra
Aristocrat 1
Aristocrat 2
Ash 1
Ash 2
Ash 3
Billy
Brood Mode
Casablanca 1
Casablanca 2
Daniel
Deep
Erin Monahan 1
Erin Monahan 2
Extempore
Falstaff 1, 2 & 3
Garnet
Gilbert Koh
Gulnaz 1, 2 & 3
Humorix 1
Humorix 2
Humorix 3
Humorix 4
Humorix 5
Humorix 6
Martin
Mrudula
MysteryGal
Nasra
Pincushion
Prerona
Ram
Rama
Renee
Russell Ragsdale 1
Russell Ragsdale 2
Russell Ragsdale 3
Russell Ragsdale 4
Shubhodeep Pal
Sue Hardy-Dawson
The One
Wandering Dervish

Written About At (Thanks!)
DesiPundit
Poetisphere
The Blogging Poet
Tomorrow


91 comments:

jaded said...

wow, wow, wow- this was too good. so simply put(unlike you, if i might add!) but so beautiful the effect. you have managed to describe almost evry tiny detail without any wastage of words!
grand..

aristera says said...

nice.
some undercurrents.
tensions.

jason evans said...

A skillful use of 55 words! Quite a bit of story unfolded.

finnegan said...

well .:a:. I'm worked on a 555,556 word poem which turned out to be epic trash. There's something about the the number 5 that should never be trifled with.

Anonymous said...

How did you know? I mean seriously, curiouser and curiouser.

-Phal

Ash said...

You know, August, at our local Barnes & Nobles, there's this little display case. And along its side are 'magnetic poetry' words. I usually sit next to this book-case, and love taking a few minutes to rearrange those limted words and come up with something interesting :)

Nice idea, I'll take it up I get some time this week.

Ph said...

LOVE the idea.

Diva said...

Awesome job, A. You created a great little story in only 55 words, which is quite an accomplishment!

transience said...

this was more than an attempt. more like a masterpiece.

Paul said...

You've given it a certain meter,it seems to me - so that the structure you've used involves more than a 55 word limit. Some of the individual stanzas come across as Haiku-like.

Casablanca said...

Oooo.. this is cool :)
Definitely will try!

Euphoric Dreamer said...

wondeful !
the end ...is fab


"The drama
Isn’t
In the script
You see"

Brood Mode said...

beautifully said...

the drama is everywhere indeed!

Hats off to u for entralling me yet again. Will try it soon

Anne said...

Always happy with the poems.
You could get a whole collection with this idea and call it '55'

livinghigh said...

the part about the make up girl is DE best! ;-)

Cecilia said...

I like the way how you've made the "play" interact with "reality". It's a come and go in and out of the world of the play in itself and what is real behind it.

Very skillful use of words, indeed. Simple and beautiful. Well done.

Mrudula said...

The drama definitely is not in the script :)

chaos said...

lol...

sounds like a biography of our bollywood... (good exceptions are always there)...

nice play with words... inspiring too :)

Geetanjali said...

Hmmm - interesting. Plenty of tension and drama in this one - loved the bit abt the make-up girl. Loved those subtle twists...

:..M..: said...

Liked how you ended it.

Jay said...

Nice One :-).

Anonymous said...

Here's a try.

The Fifty Five Word Poem

Well, the first word is a
Good place to start,
The first link in the chain,
The first breath taken,

A simple step, an elegant dream
And the sharp sense of promise,
Of being alive in a multitude
Of words, scuffling against

Each other, with bated breath
And polished tongues.
All fifty four of them.

. : A : . said...

jaded, jason evans, Diva Drip, transience, Paul, EUPHORIC DREAMZ, livinghigh, Cecilia, chaos, Geetanjali, :..M..:, Jay - Thanks a lot!

aristera says - Yes there are.

finnegan - Maybe you want to try out a 55 word one then. Your 55 word story was quite good.

Phal - Know what?

Ash - I too, like playing around with magnetic poetry. Really liked your take on this.

Ph, Casablanca, Brood Mode - Would love to see your 55.

Anne - Good idea.

Mrudula - :-)

Anonymous - Did you forget to leave a link? Are you going to put it up on your blog?

Prerona said...

will try - but sounds difficult :) poetry is harder, for me, to come up with on demand :)

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

breathless loved it will have a go, back later favourite bit, 'the drama isn't in the scrip you see'
incidently the word very thing is'bywkugs' which looks a bit like byewinkhugs which I think we should mount a campagn to get made into a real word it would be so useful

Prerona said...

a very feeble attempt up at http://purpleblueandorange.blogspot.com/2005/10/fool-forever.html ... did it in a hurry so pls excuse - will give it another shot soon

Rama The Drama said...

It is these kind of observations that seems so obvious..yet not..and the way u package them that makes me wanna come back again and again to ur site!Keep churning more!

Ram said...

:).. life is unscripted and so ever full of drama.. eh ?

Anonymous said...

No, I don't think so. It was just written on a whim. Thank you for letting me share in your comments box.

Anonymous said...

Know what? Well that shall remain one of the gret mysteries of life...

Anonymous said...

oh, the last anon was me.

-Phal

mermaid said...

Ahhhh, read the last stanza in my head before I got to it. I, too thought about the drama on the set, as opposed to the script. Especially liked the part about the makeup artist hiding everything but the eyes.

Casablanca said...

Tried it, but wasnt easy :p
I think I'll stick to 55 words stories.. am better with that :)

iamnasra said...

Wow this great ...I love the way you wrote the Drama on this and all in 55 words...

I meant to e-mail you but been bussy with the fasting month over here

aquamarine said...

beautifully woven

Extempore said...

Been savouring the play for the past few days and every day, I see something new, something old... something heartbreakingly familiar.

Thank you, A. :)

Anonymous said...

Ok so I gave it ago here

here is my blog :

http://iamnasra.blogspot.com/2005/10/desert-sands-55-word-poem.html

Nasra

. : A : . said...

Prerona - Poetry is harder, but much more rewarding. Liked your attempt. It was worth it. :-)

Sue hardy-Dawson - Thanks. Will look forward to yours.

Ramchi - Will do. Thanks.

Ram - Exactly.

Anonymous - Okay.

Phal - Then I shall let it remain.

mermaid - It wrote is self as I was writing the second last one. Maybe it was too obvious.

Casablanca - This was as good as the stories.

iamnasra - Good one!

aquamarine - Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

Extempore - My pleasure.

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Here's mine hope you will like it
55 les title

Hanging

A pegged out sky
Drenched the trees
With rays of light
Perfect blue

While whispering
Leaves tried to
Spread the word

Beyond time
Cloudless birds
Vault a white plane
Writing its tail
Across the open page

And I sit and wonder
Until Night brings her washing in
Draping the colours
Over strong lean arms

Ubermensch said...

decent , could have been better constraints were relaxed abit, for instance you could have taken off the beginning 'the's.
Whats with the three -one-two-two?
cheers

. : A : . said...

Sue hardy-Dawson - I do like it! Do you plan to put it up on your blog as well?

Ubermensch - Just a personal choice to get in the rhythm and meter I guess.

Daniel Barkowitz said...

My 55 word poem is up at my blog at http://daniel.mitblogs.com/poetry/archives/2005/10/firelight.html. Great idea, .:A:.!

Mrudula said...

You haven't posted in a while and haven't dropped by my blog ;)

Aristocrat said...

I endeavour to write a 55 word poem as well :) And keep the ball rolling...

Mrudula said...

I've made an attempt at a fifty-five word poem.

Rita said...

Superb!! Really liked your poem :))

jawaher said...

really nice job ...i didn't hear about a 55 word poem ...but 4 sure im gonna try 2 read more about that ....i really missed ur blog and ur posts :D

abhishek mehrotra said...

Came here via DesiPundit. Felt like saying "you stole my idea"... but then what the heck :^)
Check out my earlier blog on this

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Hi A thank-you yes in a couple of days or so, I shall spread your challenge there too

Pincushion said...

love the story unfolds in this..so many interesting perspectives juxtaposed in interesting combinations!
liked the idea very much :)

. : A : . said...

Daniel Barkowitz, Mrudula - Will check it out now and add it.

Aristocrat - Look forward to seeing it.

Rita - Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

jawaher - Thanks and welcome back.

abhishek mehrotra - Had not seen your blog till you came by today. As I said, maybe I didn't look enough for it! Am adding your poem to the links. Maybe you want to add the technorati tag too?

Sue hardy-Dawson - Great to hear.

Pincushion - Thank you.

Shubhodeep said...

put up a fifty five word poem on the blog. do check it out.
i liked ur poem. cheers!

Soumyadip said...

We have our ranges and our limits. But being able to fully expand that range within the limit, takes some effort. At least for me. That effort will one day evolve into an instinctive expression. I'm waiting for it. And I too will up a 55 word (or any other numerologically attractive figure) poem, short story (the genre should be christened 'shot story'). Till then I'll keep reading yours and the ones listed here.

Dreamy Eyed Gal said...

really nice idea...simple and effective...i wrote a poem but its mayb 60-65 words...newez tests goin on...after the tests r over and wen i get the inspiration to write a poem,will give a try to write 55-word poem...it sounds interesting...keep it up!!!

deep said...

gave it a shot

frissko said...

nice one..relatively less cosmetic(actually zero-cosmetic), and that adds to the appeal..

RuKsaK said...

A fifty-five word poem surely deserves a fifty-five word comment, perhaps more even, but fifty-five is my aim. Anyway, that was concise in a way – like a tardis, it’s only small on the outside, but holds depths within that not many could fathom, but for myself I relished it – hence the reverent fifty-five word comment.

Anonymous said...

august come baack!
- Phal

. : A : . said...

Shubhodeep Pal, deep - Thanks, have added it to the list.

Soumyadip - Thanks for dropping by and sharing your perspective. Look forward to reading yours in the near future.

mysterygal - Thanks.

frissko - Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

RuKsaK - Thanks for dropping by. A 55 word comment. :-)

Phal - Okay, am back. New post coming up soon.

martin said...

I've had a go with 55 words for Bob Dylan (hard to keep counting syllables for haiku and words for the 55!).

gulnaz said...

wow, in 55 words you got that!
proving your mastery. ;)
great work!

wv= etcsacd

. : A : . said...

martin - Thanks for dropping by and for taking this up. Will visit and add it to the list.

gulnaz - Thank you.

Aristocrat said...

Hello .:A:.,

I finally had time to complete my. Here is it!!!

http://tussand.blogspot.com/2005/10/tuff-and-gruff.html#comments

Aristocrat said...

Sorry, typo!!
Tuff and Gruff

Billy Jones said...

Thanks for the link, I'm trying to send a few more your way. -Billy

PS. Andrew linked you at Poetisphere.com

Pincushion said...

Hi! Finally posted a 55-word poem at
http://painauchocolat.blogspot.com/2005/10/by-my-side-55-word-poem.html#comments
Thanks :)

. : A : . said...

Aristocrat, Pincushion - Thanks. Have added the link too.

BloggingPoet - Many thanks for the write up. Appreciate it a lot.

Rama The Drama said...

Finally got around to add my bit to your interesting series!

Find my link here!

Aristocrat said...

Haha, welcome :)

And I have another 55er now..

Here is What I Saw

Cheers!

One in a Billion said...

Umm .. one has attempted a 55-word poem too.

Casablanca said...

Found another good one here, by MysteryGal.

. : A : . said...

Ramchi - Thanks a lot. Have added it. Tried to comment on your blog but the word verification is not coming on there.

Aristocrat, the One - Great. Going to see and add.

Casablanca - Thanks. Will have a look.

Aristocrat said...

Thanks for your comment August :)

The first was limited to a subject you see, but the second there was no rein over it. I just wrote what I was thinking.

. : A : . said...

Aristocrat - You are most welcome. Letting your 'writing' write makes all the difference.

Rama The Drama said...

Hey :A:,
The pleasure was mine.Sorry about the word verification.20Six fixed the problem.You can comment now!Will wait for your next initiative.

Abhi abhi said...

Most skillful a creation. Loved the play in the play! :)

. : A : . said...

Ramchi - Have done so.

Abhi abhi - Thanks for dropping by and taking it up. Have added links to your poems.

OMFG!! said...

very nice poem you got!!

. : A : . said...

胡 剑 秋 - Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

garnet david said...

I love the idea of the drama behind the play. I often imagine the billions of dramas with no set which seethe across every second the globe turns.

I've written a little 55 word poem. I'll post it tomorrow. (Thursday, Nov 4) It's also tagged as 55 word poem.

ciao,
Garnet

. : A : . said...

Garnet - Thanks for dropping by. Will look forward to your poem.

Renee Wagemans said...

I've written a little 55 word poem.

http://poetryblurrs.blogspot.com/2005/11/master.html

It's also tagged as 55 word poem.

. : A : . said...

Renee - Thanks for taking this up. Have added the link.

Silvermoon said...

Love this piece and the 55 word concept. My daughters are heavily involved in theatre as one obvious attraction. The rest lies in the literary succinctness of a well-constructed piece. Yummy!
(If I already commented, forgive the repetition, but I have no time to read through this long list. :)
I will attempt this and link back when I've 55'd it.

Back to prepping for 3 major art shows!
Again, terrific idea!(I've read several others' 55 poems in the past two weeks, enthusiastically crediting you.)

. : A : . said...

Silvermoon - Thanks. Look forward to seeing and adding your work here.

david raphael israel said...

English --
what's new (to me) in your 55-word poem here is the migration of word-counting to the level of the stanza. I've written some 55-word prose-poems ;-) -- here are the two most recent ones (forming what I believe will be the start of a new larger narrative series):

"A patience unit"
and
"The old mantram".

Speaking more generally re: 55-worders, allow me also to note the sequence of 30 of 'em I wrote -- conceived as story cycle, blogged (one after another) as THIRTY PAGES.

cheers,
d.i.

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