Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The thread in this yarn

Sometimes, change comforts you and is deliberate.

But this time, the change that came about in her life was not deliberate. It was fortuitous. Fortuitous that she had to move on; that she felt that she needed to move on.

But it was so good. It was meant to be forever.

The strangeness of the word ‘forever’ struck her as she penned down her thoughts. Was it a possibility? Was anything ‘forever’? The moments played back in her mind again and again; since the day the magic started. But each time it played, the reel changed ever so slightly. The story took that small little by lane and twisted itself through a new path. Each time, it landed up at the same place but the route it took changed over time.

And time was all that was left between them.

The past was altered in every memory and every moment. Nothing lasted ‘forever’. Because every time you turned on the memories, they were altered. There was another new version, another chain. And this time, when it all came together to the same point, she wondered whether it would have been any different if things were changed. If people were different. If she were not around, and the story unfolded on its own in someone else’s life. If there were another.

Probably.

But this was the story that had taken place. Or at least the version which existed today. The blasphemy of questioning it. How could he? Why did he? Distrust was the basest of emotions that could destroy this story. Or this version of it.

That is why it changed. Even if it was not deliberate.


28 comments:

rusty said...

Sometimes you change cos thats comforting.Welcome back. *hugs*

rusty said...

Sometimes on the way to your dreams , you get lost and find a better one !

iamnasra said...

Reading this made me want to cry. At times you want hold on certain dream or thread in your life and you rewind it to see how it can be played differently to keep it alive and hoping that the outcome have been so different and at times its hard to come to accept that is the way it works out....

cameo said...

word up.

MotoRama said...

There is change by choice and change without choice.We have to make peace within ourself,no matter which way it comes through.Awesome as usual!

mermaid said...

Your post speaks of alternate versions of reality created by her mind. The thread in this yarn can be forgotten, remembered, and even remembered in a different way. People are fascinating in this way.

Anonymous said...

fucking trite !

Zee said...

A wonderful dance between fate and the possibility of changing it.

Quite enchanting, A. Thanks. :)

Shankari said...

The more things change...
Isn't change really about choice? What else changes but the version of change you choose... Threading links together in the change.

Deez said...

i heard somewhere - we dont remember things as they were, we remember them as we want them to be.

and obviously at different times we wnat different things. and same memoreis take up so many ever changing forms.......

Gangadhar said...

welcome back after a long time!!!

GEL said...

I noticed the similarity and the contrast between the first and last line of your yarn, like coming full circle in experience and emotions.

It sounds like a divorce or breakup between two people who were very close. Regardless of what you are conveying for yourself, you do so with eloquence and wisdom. I marvel at the parts you expertly omit that leave the reader pondering long after reading your work.
(I changed my blog title and link):
"Irrepressible Secrets" http://Silvermoon18.blogspot.com

Cecilia said...

Welcome back, A.

I was left to ponder, indeed, with this post. Is it full of sadness? Of yearning? Of hoping?

The sadness brings forth an understanding of how we cannot really change things or what any situation will bring about. The only thing we can change as human beings is our outlook and attitude towards any given circumstance.

In hoping to change the situation, of what-might-have-beens, is to regret.

In hoping to change our views is to give ourselves the chance...to live and to move forward.

Ash said...

Beautiful post..
.. the words linger long after reading the post, making me unwind the threads of my own dreams and hopes

*sigh*

livinghigh said...

hmmm... complete n utter trust? sad to say, but never seen it in ANY relationship.

Rohit Talwar said...

oooooooooooooooohhhhhhh thank god you updated!!!!!!

and as usual, i loved the lines!


don't take such a long break now!

Jigal.. said...

hi

nice words..

but "PARIVARTAN HI SANSAR KA NIYAM HAI"....

bye

take care

bert moth said...

This post was enchanting and made me think: Is forever not forever only in our own minds? Or is there there some reality where our minds can't change forever? Very intriguing concept

chaos said...

long time A.

i think change is the only thing that is constant. if we don't change with the change, it'll change the perspective of the world looking at us. life's contantly changing... and we need to keep pace with it...

change does hurt... but not changing hurts more...

cheers

Casablanca said...

Sometimes, the way you write, makes me wonder if you are 'her'.

Anamika said...

Nothings forever...not even the worst of times.

stan laurel said...

sometimes change is pain masquerading as a neccisity.

Is is good..is it necessary...is it ever deliberate?

Good questions. I always love your prose...even if I don't always comment.

shyloh said...

Very nice. Life can be bitter sweet so it seems.

Aradhita said...

Your passages are not mere thoughts floating by on their own, what I love the most is that you take every care to wrap it up like a precious gift and carefully unfold it to the world, to us... thats why they are so much more beautiful :)

:..M..: said...

I'm not sure if I was supposed to - but I was shattered by this post.

Lorena said...

it is true, we tend to beautify our memories and change them slightly. always beautiful writing. hypnotic even :)

J said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
a faint whisper said...

and sew on....