Saturday, August 21, 2004

Inspirationfearregretcreativity ... Boom!


Paid me a visit yesterday
It kindled the fire
Of my imagination
I was licked by its flames
Which did not burn me
It just heated my desire
To start again

* * *

I wrote this poem over 6 years ago.

When I had just discovered the joys of writing. When I discovered poetry. The feeling then was like what Neruda wrote in his poem "Poetry":

"I felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke free on the open sky."

* * *

After years of suffering from writer's block, I am finding the urge to write again. I don't know if it is inspiration, but it is something that is making me write. Is it fear? Fear that I am losing my creativity? Fear that I am getting rusty?

Could be.

I have heard that fear is a great motivator. I never though that it could inspire creativity. I always thought that it was something forced. Like medicine, vegetables. So you never like them. They have a negative connotation rather than something positive. Like creativity. Like creation.


Or is it regret? Or being on the brink of it? Or having your eyes opened one day to the fact that if you don't, then you will regret? Seeing someone keep the passion for writing, against all odds? Yes, I think that is it? But somewhere in that there is a mixture.


The kind of writers block I have been suffering from is not something that happened overnight.

It came gradually.

Like a river drying up in summer. The writing just reduced. Till it stopped.

First it was gushing. Then flowing. Then trickling. Drip drip drip. Till, it was no more. And then it was gone. And now it has been years. And it is all coming back. But not dripdripdriptrickleflowgush.


That's more like it. Unleasing itself like a caged animal. A caged animal that has been quiet too long and now needs to get out. The pent up anger and emotion, easily breaking the cage.

And getting out.

Out out out.

And its here.

* * *

I wrote this poem over 6 years ago. I can identify with it again today.


Cori said...

I love this post.

. : A : . said...

Thanks Cori.

Havokinthemind said...

That was awesome.. can empathize with it entirely... love the "dripdripdriptrickleflowgush. Boom."
Couldn't be a better way to express the fits and starts with which the creative process happens!!

. : A : . said...

Thanks Havokinthemind. Somehow, I knew that you would identify with it. I still can't pinpoint why your post and this one were so similar!

sneha said...

dnt hav words for this. felt as if only the words were urs. expressing wht i cud never pen dwn so accurately.

. : A : . said...

sneha - Thanks!

Wbix said...

Can totally connect to this... you sure are amazing with words.

. : A : . said...

Wbix - Thanks!

silvermoon said...

"It kindled the fire
Of my imagination
I was licked by its flames" and "BOOM"

Having discovered your blog recently, I've been immersed in the "fireplace" of your amazing writing. I linked you long before now to Silken Threads. IT took me a long time to share poetry publically on the net and I still am so shy being so exposed before I hit "publish" for the net, yet the feedback is immensely helpful, especially from those who offer suggestions and critique of ALL types.

It's similar with my artwork before it is viewed by the public at an artshow: my naked soul on the walls...for all to see. For years I did not show in public, not because of artistic block, but due to unnaturally high expectations.

I'm glad the floodgates of writer's block opened with such powerful surges for you!

. : A : . said...

silvermoon - Thanks for sharing your thoughts and linking to me. I share the same feelings about sharing writing/art at large. It does take sometime to do it but it is very pleasurable and rewarding at the end of the day. Look forward to seeing more of your work.